Joke : I wasn't planning on spending that much
1. A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
2. A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can you loan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident."The stranger says, "If you need two hundred dollars, what are you using to gamble with?"The guy replies, "Oh, I've got gambling money."