Nope! It's NEVER okay to spank a child for being naughty
I have seen a post about child education recently and it made me to think and do a bit of research. Here is the reason why I refuse to use violence to educate.
1. Spanking shows that “stronger” is right
When you use physical punishment to show a child he/she did something wrong, you are sending the unintended message that whomever is bigger and stronger decides what’s right and what’s wrong. Does this mean your child can determine what’s right when he or she becomes stronger than you? Could this contribute to why elder abuse is so prevalent?
2. Spanking demonstrates that older people have a right to hit younger people
You’re sending the message that older, bigger people have the right to hit younger, smaller people. This is especially confusing when you’re disciplining a child for hitting someone. What do you think can happen when your child grows to be bigger than you?
3. Spanking gives the example that violence solves problems
Spanking also shows children that violence is an appropriate way to solve life’s problems. “If I don’t like what you do, then I’m going to hit you.” Physically punishing your child can be perceived as a form of bullying, sending the message to your child that this is an effective way to get others to do things your way.
4. Spanking damages self-esteem
When children are hit by the very people who are supposed to protect them, it causes a child to question, “What’s wrong with me?” Self-esteem is a critically important and fragile thing. If you want your child to succeed in life, the level of his or her self-esteem will be a major determining factor.
5. Spanking can increase the likelihood of developing mental health symptoms
According to this new study, links have been found from later mental health diagnoses to higher incidents of childhood spanking for disciplinary purposes. I am willing to bet that when spanking your child, your intention wasn’t to create long-term psychological problems.
6. Spanking damages your relationship and trust
Do you remember being hit as a child? Do you ever remember thinking afterward, “I’m so thankful my parent loves me enough to hit me?” Of course you didn’t! You were probably thinking, “I hate you” or some version of an anti-relationship building comment. Of course that doesn’t last long if parents do an overall good job of parenting. However, spanking can shake the foundation of trust between you and your child. Your child trusts you to always have his or her best interests in mind. Spanking can greatly cause your child to question this premise.
7. Spanking reduces the influence you have with your children
When you think of those people you listen to, trust and seek out for advice, it’s those people who support and encourage you, not generally those who “smack you down,” either literally or physically. Do you want to have influence with your child? Then you might want to stop hitting him or her, even if it’s for “his own good.”
8. Spanking teaches children to lie to avoid detection or to avoid you
When you think about punishment, it generally does not deter behavior unless the punisher is present. Most people do what they want to do, unless the risk of detection is high. Punishment teaches children to avoid detection by avoiding his or her parents.